Holidays DownUnder Style...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! And what a year 2008 is going to be. Once again it's the Year of Joe...yeah for me!! I also understand it's the Year of Pam. Is it your year as well?? I hope so.

I'm not usually one to reflect as I prefer to look forward, but I guess it's a new year and that's what they tell you to do. And since I always do as I'm told...here goes.


The good...the bad...the ugly. To date, I've really only told you about the great stuff that's happened on my trip, so I guess you deserve to hear the other side of the story as well.

The good...I'm preparing to act in my first ever movie. The bad...it's called "Super Size Me II". The ugly...I'm a much better actor than I thought possible and totally immersed in the role. Although I weigh the same as before I left...the little muscle tone I had is long gone and an alien is growing inside my ever protruding stomach. Long live fast food...since it will long outlast me at this rate.


The good...for almost two months I was being transformed into a world known celebrity. The bad...it was Michael Jackson. I found myself turning whiter by the day as white spots continued to show up on my stomach and back. I was known down here as the "Canadian Leopard". It sort of has a nice ring to it...NOT! The ugly...after researching the Net...I find out it's a skin fungus. How nasty is that?? And to make matters worse...I have to oil myself up before bedtime for three nights. Just think Burt Reynolds in the movie Striptease. I apologize for that visual!!

The good...experiencing a new culture for the holidays especially on the beaches and having everyone from back home call me or send me well wishes. You guys are the BEST!! The bad...it never once felt like Christmas. I saw a kid playing beach cricket with a Santa hat on. That's not normal. Believe it or not...I missed the snow! I know it's not humid jungle hot, but Boxing Day in Perth reached a record 44.2 degrees Celsius. Some say...but it's a dry heat so that's OK. To them...I say... bullshit... it was damn HOT!! The ugly...I spent about 36 hours from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day morning being violently sick in a communal bathroom. I won't go into details, but let's just say it wasn't pretty and I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone.

Perth is the most isolated city in the world...it is also a very picturesque city. However, it is by far the MOST SLEEPY city I've been in to date. Luckily, the hostel crowd was a very unique blend of motley characters on leave from the mines, construction, logging, etc...and fun was always around the corner. OK...let me rephrase that...alcohol was always around the corner.

I think I would have gone insane if it wasn't for my French friend Gabrielle who showed me the sites of Scarborough, Cottesloe, Fremantle and Rottnest Island. The sunset below is from her balcony and to make things almost perfect...she has a BBQ. OMG...I hadn't realized how much I've missed a BBQ until she cooked up some steak, sausages and chicken. The French can definitely cook!

Two things that Perth does have to its credit is "Sunday Session" and unique traffic lights. Sunday Session is basically an event where everyone goes to the beach on Sunday afternoons and then hit the pubs...and not necessarily in that order. From what I've experienced...Sunday Session is definitely the highlight of the week.

So what about the traffic lights??? As a pedestrian, you have to wait a bit longer for the "walk" signal to illuminte, but when it does...you have full control of the intersection as both directions for vehicles have a red light. Therefore, you can walk diagonally across to the far corner of an intersection. It's a weird feeling. I'm sure I'll forget that this is a very local phenomenon and try it in Sydney with very bad results.

Perth...been there...seen it...now it's time to get the hell out!! Talk to you in Adelaide...