A World Class Adventure into the Interior

To my good friend Yabo, I have three words to say to you...YES and YES! I'm not sure if everyone has been following the comments to my blog as well, but my good friend Chris (aka Yabo) has challenged me with a couple of tough questions. And after many nights of research at the local pubs, I have found out that Kangaroos are excellent swimmers and I have seen a Koala fly. But Bo...did you know that Kangaroos can't move backwards? Neither can emus. I bet you didn't know that. But I have to give credit where credit is due...your recipe for my diet was the only one I've followed to date. Natigo (aka Tim)...pushups, situps, jogging...what kind of crap is that? I think I'll just become a crack cocaine addict as they all seem skinny. Thanks to Gabrielle and Sasha for at least giving me some helpful insight. Where are you other blog readers? A Canadian boy is in need and you don't come through...6 comments only...that hurts!

I'm sure everyone has already seen a million shots of Uluru (Ayers Rock), but I guess one more won't kill you. Based on a lot of urging from many new found friends here in Australia and good ole Dave Szasz back home...I bit the bullet and went to see Australia's interior. And I have to admit...it was definitely worth the trip. Sleeping outside in the desert and seeing stars like I've never seen before was pretty cool. I could have done without the 40+ degree weather and the flies...THE FLIES!!! As for sights...I think I enjoyed King's Canyon and the Olgas more than Uluru, but please don't tell the Aboriginals. It also didn't hurt that on both tours I took...women outnumbered us guys by 4:1. And yes...many were quite attractive...kudos to Team Germany, Team Sweden, Team UK, Team Switzerland , Team Italia and others.

Both tours found me in Coober Pedy which is in the middle of nowhere, but is world reknowned for 80% of all opals and home to many people living underground. It was quite entertaining to see how the locals (mostly men who don't get out much) reacted when our tour (OK...just the girls) entered the local pub. I'm typically not a people watcher, but it was priceless and yes I had to save a few girls from over zealous miners. Another good deed from Team Canada.

Why did I entitle this post "World Class"? That's easy...our tour guide JP called EVERYTHING on the tour "world class". That went from the tourist sites themselves, to the food he prepared, to the non-existant towns we stopped to use the toilets at, to the little bushes that are everywhere, etc...etc. I saw a lot of red dirt on my travels to the interior. We covered 1500kms in two days from Adelaide to Alice Springs on the first tour and the other tour covered over 2500kms on the 5.5 days back to Adelaide. However, I was surprised how many trees and bushes covered the landscape. I'm not sure why, but I only expected to see red dirt. What do I know? We also saw feral camels, feral horses, emus, kangaroo roadkill, cows and lots of sheep in our travels. And no...the sheep didn't run scared when I was close by. I figured I beat you guys to the punch with that one.

I usually found myself being the last one to go to bed most days on the trip and was a little shocked to see a dingo no more than 10 feet from me as I was heading to bed the one night. I knew then that I was "one with nature". So that night I just slept on the ground without any sleeping bag or swag. In hindsight, I'm sure that wasn't the smartest thing to do since there are a lot of nasty things out there in the Outback that bite. However, the Embro boy lives to fight another day!!

As usual, the last picture has me testing my photography skills. But I would like to say...I need a new camera...especially one with a sunset mode. I would be standing beside someone taking a picture at the exact time as myself and their's turned out gorgeous and mine when to the scrap heap. But don't worry...Tim the English bloke has promised to send me some good shots that I can share with you later.

With that said...I'll apologize for this rather boring posting (are you guys getting tired of the same old pictures and stories?...let me know) and await my adventures in Melbourne. I arrive Saturday which just happens to be Australia Day. What could possibly go wrong??

FYI...I'll try to spice up the next posting a little more.

Adelaide: Wine Country

G'Day Mates...How are ya going? I find myself "home sweet home" in wine country. Yummy!

This post will probably be short and sweet as I don't have much Internet time left and I leave for Alice Springs early tomorrow morning. However, there is one thing that I ask of all of you reading this blog...I'm in need of some simple meal recipes knowing that I'm using a communal kitchen with no oven. Please consider the only tools I have are stove elements, the odd microwave a toaster and very few spices/condiments, etc. As I mentioned in my last blog...the Super Sized Joe has to go and in his place...Fit Joe. So please send me a SIMPLE (remember...I'm not the sharpest guy around) and EASY, half healthy meal ideas. That is the cost of reading my blog. Cheers... Thanks in advance.

Adelaide has spoiled me and I like it. My friend Sue set up an amazing wine tasting, tour and dinner at Penfolds Magill Estates where I was wined and dined to fabulous new tastes. I treated myself to a Penfolds Bin 707 glass of wine which cost $65. How crazy is that? And thanks to the wonderful company of Bonnie and Larry from Denver who invited me to join them at their table...I was also able to taste a 1983 Grange at a mere $95 per glass. Not bad for an Embro Boy.

And thanks to a spontaneous invite from Fiona from Adelaide and Rebecca from the UK I had a great outing at Glenelg beach just outside of Adelaide. Aussies sure know how to make you feel welcome.

I also stumbled (not literally...this time) onto a pub that between 9:00 and 11:00 played paper/rock/scissors each time you ordered a drink. If you won...the drink was free...if you lost...you had to pay the normal price for it. Nice idea!! I won two out of three. Hey...I was at a wine tasting event all day; a fairwell dinner and drinks for my new found Dutch friends Debbie/Corine/Sven and only got to the pub after 10:00. Cut me some slack.

The Barossa valley which is known for it's Shiraz and Cabarnets has vineyards and wineries everywhere. It's a winos paradise. And it just happens to be home to one of my favourite wines: Wolfblass. Oh course I went on a structured wine tasting tour. Actually I went to five wineries that day. I'm becoming quite the expert if I do say so myself. It didn't hurt that I spent some time at the National Wine Centre here in Adelaide as well. As they say...when in Rome...

Now why did I take a picture of this particular vine? Because if you want to be an expert...you have to know your history. This vine is 164 years old and the oldest vine in the world. It's found at the Langmeil Estates. I bet you didn't know that. All this culture (yes, I went to another Museum and Art Gallery) and knowledge is starting to scare me. Whatever happened to Oblivious Joe? He was pretty fun to hang around because he was simple. This Cultured Joe is getting some substance. Look out world...I've also been reading the trivia questions on the bottom of Carlton Draught and Toohey's New bottlecaps. I'm thinking about going into the National Trivial Pursuit Challenge so I guess I better go practise some more. Another round bartender. I'm in training.

Off to the Rock...

Holidays DownUnder Style...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! And what a year 2008 is going to be. Once again it's the Year of Joe...yeah for me!! I also understand it's the Year of Pam. Is it your year as well?? I hope so.

I'm not usually one to reflect as I prefer to look forward, but I guess it's a new year and that's what they tell you to do. And since I always do as I'm told...here goes.


The good...the bad...the ugly. To date, I've really only told you about the great stuff that's happened on my trip, so I guess you deserve to hear the other side of the story as well.

The good...I'm preparing to act in my first ever movie. The bad...it's called "Super Size Me II". The ugly...I'm a much better actor than I thought possible and totally immersed in the role. Although I weigh the same as before I left...the little muscle tone I had is long gone and an alien is growing inside my ever protruding stomach. Long live fast food...since it will long outlast me at this rate.


The good...for almost two months I was being transformed into a world known celebrity. The bad...it was Michael Jackson. I found myself turning whiter by the day as white spots continued to show up on my stomach and back. I was known down here as the "Canadian Leopard". It sort of has a nice ring to it...NOT! The ugly...after researching the Net...I find out it's a skin fungus. How nasty is that?? And to make matters worse...I have to oil myself up before bedtime for three nights. Just think Burt Reynolds in the movie Striptease. I apologize for that visual!!

The good...experiencing a new culture for the holidays especially on the beaches and having everyone from back home call me or send me well wishes. You guys are the BEST!! The bad...it never once felt like Christmas. I saw a kid playing beach cricket with a Santa hat on. That's not normal. Believe it or not...I missed the snow! I know it's not humid jungle hot, but Boxing Day in Perth reached a record 44.2 degrees Celsius. Some say...but it's a dry heat so that's OK. To them...I say... bullshit... it was damn HOT!! The ugly...I spent about 36 hours from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day morning being violently sick in a communal bathroom. I won't go into details, but let's just say it wasn't pretty and I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone.

Perth is the most isolated city in the world...it is also a very picturesque city. However, it is by far the MOST SLEEPY city I've been in to date. Luckily, the hostel crowd was a very unique blend of motley characters on leave from the mines, construction, logging, etc...and fun was always around the corner. OK...let me rephrase that...alcohol was always around the corner.

I think I would have gone insane if it wasn't for my French friend Gabrielle who showed me the sites of Scarborough, Cottesloe, Fremantle and Rottnest Island. The sunset below is from her balcony and to make things almost perfect...she has a BBQ. OMG...I hadn't realized how much I've missed a BBQ until she cooked up some steak, sausages and chicken. The French can definitely cook!

Two things that Perth does have to its credit is "Sunday Session" and unique traffic lights. Sunday Session is basically an event where everyone goes to the beach on Sunday afternoons and then hit the pubs...and not necessarily in that order. From what I've experienced...Sunday Session is definitely the highlight of the week.

So what about the traffic lights??? As a pedestrian, you have to wait a bit longer for the "walk" signal to illuminte, but when it does...you have full control of the intersection as both directions for vehicles have a red light. Therefore, you can walk diagonally across to the far corner of an intersection. It's a weird feeling. I'm sure I'll forget that this is a very local phenomenon and try it in Sydney with very bad results.

Perth...been there...seen it...now it's time to get the hell out!! Talk to you in Adelaide...